Reductio ad socialmedium, or, The Book Report I Should Have Written

The Misfit caught up with the grandmother and her family on a dirt road in South Georgia.

The only substantive difference between Flannery O’Connor’s “A Good Man is Hard to Find” and National Lampoon’s “Vacation” is the illusory theme park ending and maybe Christie Brinkley. Remember that moment you thought we might see tits? Remember the disappointment when you didn’t?

One question: Would Christie have made it in the age of Instagram, or would she have gone full thot? The answer is, there is no answer. Sally forth to reality.

The reality: John Candy’s security guard character was an escaped homicidal mental patient who slipped through the cracks and got hired at Wally World. He killed the Griswolds, every last one of them, then drank their blood and curled up for a nap in a bumper car. He gets a life sentence, sentenced to being studied by frauds who pretend his brain is some kind of worm farm so they don’t have to work for a living. This carries us back to the actual reason the Misfit killed the grandmother.

The reason is, there is no reason. Unfortunately for her, she was born too long before social media.

She would have been a good woman if it had been someone there to shoot her for Instagram every minute of her life. Too bad her sackless son wasn’t packing.

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